He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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