woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I want her autograph on my taint
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
