Screwed.edu
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
