i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
