The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
