white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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