He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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