Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's the barista slut.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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