Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
