we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
