hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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