absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
