i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
