Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
