idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Pants 0. Shit 1.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
