i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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