i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just crazy horny about you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
