K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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