She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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