Just cropdusted the office
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
