I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
