the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
