my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
