so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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