Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
