I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
