No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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