That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
