apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
