just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
how does that bad decision feel?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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