Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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