I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
