he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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