His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
