he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
