These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The Olympian is in my bed
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