I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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