I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
