its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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