I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
How's work?
Spinning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
