I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
