I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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