Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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