fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
