operation harelip BJ is a go
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
