Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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