Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
