hotel room ftw
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
