So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
