You're my little dorito
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
