rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
