dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
