Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
